BEING THE FIRST SECTION OF THE ALPHABETIZED VERSION OF THE BLACK BOOK OF LOCKSLEY *************************************************************** * ACUSHLA -Ioseph of Locksley (c) 1990 W.J. Bethancourt III (Tune: "When You And I Were Young") To Cherie Ruadh MhicRath of Locksley I have wandered today to the hills, Acushla, To watch the scene below The pavilions and flags, and the songs, Acushla, That we started long, long ago! I see a true living Dream, Acushla, The past come alive once again. I see a life that we've made, Acushla, Did we see this at all, when we began? They say we have outlived our time, Acushla, As dated as the songs we have sung; But to me you're as fair as you were, Acushla, When you and I were young! I see the child that we raised, Acushla, In the Lists for his fair Lady Maid; He will sit on a Throne someday soon, Acushla, With eyes shining and unafraid! Through hard times and good times and sad, Acushla, We stood by the Dream that we knew; And we did the best that we could, Acushla, And watched as that little Dream grew! They say we have outlived our time, Acushla, As dated as the songs we have sung; But to me you're as fair as you were, Acushla, When the SCA was young! * and fondly dedicated, also, to Count Sir Stephan of Bellatrix! ya did good, kiddo! 2 * THE AGINCOURT CAROLE -Traditional (rendered to modern English by Ioseph of Locksley) Our king went forth to Normandy With grace and might of chivalry There God for him wrought marvelously Wherefore England may call and cry: Deo gratias: Deo gratias Anglia redde pro victoria! He set a siege, the truth to say To Harfleur town with royal array; That town he won, and made a fray That France shall rue til Doom(e)sday. Deo gratias.... Then went our king with all his host Through France, for all the Frenchmen's boast; He spared no dread of least nor most Til he came to Agincourt coast. Deo gratias.... Then, forsooth, that knight comely, In Agincourt field he fought manly; Through grace of God most mighty He had both field and victory. Deo gratias.... There duke and earl, lord and baron Were taken and slain, and that well soon, And some were led into London With joy and mirth and great renown: Deo gratias.... May gracious God He keep our king, His people that are well willing And give him grace without ending Then we may call and safely sing: Deo gratias.... * Note: This may also be sung to "The Banana Boat Song" as: Our king went forth to Normandy Deo gratias Anglia! With grace and might of chivalry Deo gratias Anglia! There God for him wrought marvelously Deo gratias Anglia! Wherefore England may call and cry: Deo gratias Anglia! CHORUS: Deo! Deo! Deo gratias Anglia! ...but beware, you might seriously offend the Authenticity Police......heheheheh! * 3 * A GRAZING MACE -Anonymous tune: "Amazing Grace" verses 1-5 by Skald-Brandr Toralfsson verse 6 is the original anonymous creation verse 7 from the HOPSFA Hymnal 3rd Edition A grazing mace, how sweet the sound, that felled my foe for me I bashed his head, he struck the ground, and thus came victory My mace has taught my foes to fear, that mace my fear relieved How precious did my mace appear, when I my mace received Through many tourneys wars and fairs, I have already come My mace has brought me safe thus far, my mace will bring me home The King has promised good to me, his word my hope secures I will his shield and weapon be, when he gives me my spurs And when my mace my foeman nails, that mortal strife shall cease And we'll possess within our pale, a life of joy and peace A grazing mace, how sweet the sound that flattened a wretch like thee! whose head is flat, that once was round; done in by my mace....and me! A grazing mace, how sweet the sound that smites a foe like thee You're left there lying on the ground, you've left the field to me! * 4 * THE ALCOHOLIC'S ANTHEM -Christchurch NZ University Revue tune: "Men Of Harlech" What's the use of drinking tea indulging in sobriety? (and) tee-total perversity? It's healthier to booze! What's the use of milk and water? these are drinks that never oughter be allowed in any quarter Come on, lose your Blues! Mix yourself a Shandy! Drown yourself in brandy! A Sherry sweet, a Whiskey neat, or any kind of likker that is handy! There's no blinking sense in drinking any thing that doesn't make you stinking There's no happiness like sinking blotto to the floor! Put an end to all frustration drinking may be your salvation end it all in dissapation rotten to the core! Abberations metabolic Ceilings that are hyperbolic these are for the Alcoholic lying on the floor! Vodka for the arty Gin, to make you hearty! Lemonade was only made for drinking if your mother's at the party! So stay clear of home-made beer and anything that isn't labeled "clear" There is nothing else to fear! Bottoms up, my boys! * 5 * ALL AROUND MY HAT -Traditional CHORUS: All around my hat, I will wear the green willow And all around my hat, for a twelve-month and a day! And if any one will ask me the reason why I'm wearin' it It's all for my true love who is far, far away! Fare thee well, cold Winter, and fare thee well cold Frost It's nothing I have gained but my own true love I've lost I'll sing and I'll be merry, when occasion I do see She's a false, deludin' young girl, let her go! Farewell be! My love she was fair, and my love she was kind, too And many were the happy hours between my love and me I never could refuse her, whatever she'd a mind to She's a false, deludin' young girl, let her go! Farewell be! The other night I brought her a fine diamond ring But she tried to deprive me of a far better thing I never could refuse her, whatever she'd a mind to She's a false, deludin' young girl, let her go! Farewell be! Will my love be true, and will my love be faithful? Will she find another young man, to court her when I'm gone? The men will all come court her, so pretty and so graceful She's a false, deludin' young girl, let her go! Farewell be! It's a quarter pound of Reason, and a half a pound of Sense A small sprig of Time, and as much of Prudence, You mix them all together, and you will plainly see She's a false, deludin' young girl, let her go! Farewell be! (Note: This version is a composite of lyrics sung by Steeleye Span and those found in "Folksongs And Ballads of Ireland" Vol. 2, from Ossian Publications. * 6 * ALL THRU THE NIGHT While the Moon her watch is keeping all thru the night While the weary world is sleeping all thru the night O'er thy spirit gently stealing, Visions of delight revealing Breathes a pure and holy feeling all thru the night Though this Bard must roam full lonely My true harp shall sing praise only Love's soft dream, alas, is over Yet my strains of love shall hover Near the Presence of my Lover Hark! A solemn bell is ringing Thou, my King are heavenward winging Earthly dust from off Thee shaken Soul immortal shalt thou waken With thy last, dim journey taken Neath this Stone my King is sleeping Stars around Him softly sweeping Once and Future King preserving Britain's Saviour there reserving All around him Stars observing all thru the night Holl am ran-tire sehr thuh wed-ont ahr heed ah nos Dum-ar forth ee vro go-gawn-yont ahr heed ah nos Gol-i ar-all you tuh wull ooch ee are thang os gweer bred vairtch-ooch tie-leer nave oith m'yoon thu-wail-ooch ahr heed ah nos note: The last verse is phonetic Welsh. "ll" is pronounced by putting the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth, and saying "h" and "l" at the same time...sort of. "ch" is pronounced as German. * 7 * THE ANACHRONISTIC LOVER Author unknown (orig. SCA East Kingdom?) (tune: "The Frozen Logger") As I sat down one evening he'd just drive them in with a war-mace 'twas in a wayside Inn and then bite them off inside a forty year old barmaid came and whispered by my chin He never shaved a whisker until his helm was full I see that you're an Anachronist and the device upon his shield and not just some modern jerk bespoke a wild bull for no one but an Anachronist stirs coffee with a Dirk He vowed to me one evening no maidens were my peers I once loved an Anachronist he went off to prove his point there's none like him today and he's been gone TEN YEARS...! he kissed me in a haystack once and burned up all the hay and so I lost my lover and in this Inn I work he never shaved a whisker and sit and wait for someone from off his horny hide to stir coffee with a Dirk.... * 8 * ANNA THEA -Anonymous (PD) tune: Lydia Wood recorded by Judy Collins Lazlo Thea stole a stallion Stole him from the Misty Mountain And they chased him, and they caught him And in iron chains they bound him. Word was brought to Anna Thea That her brother was in prison "Give me gold and six white horses I will buy my brother's freedom." "Judge, Oh Judge please spare my brother I will give you gold and silver!" "I don't want your gold and silver; All I want are your sweet favours!" "Anna Thea, Oh my sister! Are you mad with grief and sorrow? He will rob you of your Flower, And he'll hang me from the gallows!" Anna Thea did not heed him; Straightway to the Judge went running. In his golden bed, at midnight, There she heard the gallows groaning! Cursed be that Judge so cruel! Thirteen years shall he lie bleeding! Thirteen doctors shall not heal him! Thirteen shelves of drugs won't save him! Anna Thea, Anna Thea! Don't go out into the forest! There, among the green pines standing, You will find your brother....hanging. * 9 * THE ATENVELDT INVASION -Ioseph of Locksley (Tune: "Young Folks, Old Folks") (c) 1991 W.J.Bethancourt III CHORUS: Young folks, old folks, every man and each Come see the Atenveldter, landed on the beach! He's not wearing any clothes, and covered all with hair And worse than that, he isn't wearing any underwear! Once upon a time, in a Kingdom far away A ship was wrecked in Calafia's bay It sank right down, men and mast and sail And only the ship's monkey lived to tell the tale! The monkey came ashore and wandered all around Wandered thru the valleys, wandered thru the town Then it came to a revel hall more dead than alive And the Caidan's thought an invasion had arrived! CHORUS The crowd screamed and scrambled, caught by surprise Climbing the curtains, putting pillows o'er their eyes Cried a willowy Laurel, with a cry that was heart-felt: "He's big and strong and hairy, he must be from Atenveldt!" "He's not wearing any clothes, whatever can it mean?" "It's the rudest thing that I have ever seen!" A Duchess said to the Kingdom Castellan: "You can tell he's not Caidan: No Elizabeth-i-ans!" //Humpf!// CHORUS The whole crowd was terrified, petrified with fear, That the Atenveldt invasion finally was here. "God help the Kingdom!" "Save us from this fate!" "Run away and hide ourselves before it is too late!" The monkey saw the revel feast and jumped for the food With no table manners; he was really rather rude! The crowd gasped with horror at the awful sight: "He eats with both hands! He's an Atenveldter Knight!" CHORUS The monkey ambled 'round, all tired, stiff and sore; All the Caidans scrambled for the door! The politics got heavy and the rumor spread around "The Atenveldter's gonna be a-fighting for the Crown!" But then the revel hall got quiet as could be When up cried the Seneshal, "Can't you plainly see?" "Hide your wives and daughters and prepare for fire and sword!" "It's not an Atenveldter, it's a member of the Horde!" //Eek!// CHORUS (twice) * 10 * ATEN MAN -Ioseph of Locksley (c) copyright 1991 W.J.Bethancourt III (Tune: "Irish Soldier Laddie") CHORUS: Will you stand in the van like a true Aten man And hold the line for Kingdom and for Crown? Will you fight and never yield on Estrella's battlefield? For today's the day we're takin' Caid down! As I stood in a crowd I saw a valiant laddie walkin' With his armour and his sword down a quiet country lane He smiled and he waved and he bespoke me truly He beckoned and he called to me by name: On a quiet village street stood a bowman strong and hearty As he bade a fond farewell to his pretty peasant lass And his eyes were flashin' bright as he bent his head and kissed her And these words he said beneath the partin' glass: Came a knight upon his steed, with his squires ridin' after With his pennon and his lance and his shinin' silver mail With his Lady's Favour hangin' from his belt of leather And passin' close he smiled and bade me "Hail!" In a sunny castle hall, with her minstrels and her maidens, Stood a Lady, strong and proud, with a fire in her eyes "If my King is off to war, what can I but fight beside him?" She raised her sword, and shouted to the skies: From city and from township, from Barony and Marches Come the men of Aten's land with a fire in their eyes Atenveldt and Ysgithr, Mons Tinitrus and SunDragon, And a hundred thousand others 'neath the sky! * 11 * ATENVELDT -Ioseph of Locksley (c) copyright 1974, 1990 W.J.Bethancourt III (Tune: "The West's Awake" For all the Lands where I have dwelt Oh Atenveldt, Oh Atenveldt till rivers burn and mountains melt lest I forget my Atenveldt From deserts stark to snow-capped peaks from silent lakes and laughing creeks sing: Oh let man find his heart's ease on rocky plains in desert breeze For oft I thought of mighty men who carved a Land with sword and pen and lit a candle, burning bright, that pierced the darkness; stirred the night! tho some are gone their deeds remain this sunny Crown without a stain sing: Oh, their deeds were not in vain! in sunlit days and falling rain..... So raise your banners, blazoned bright Advance the Dream and Shine the Light! in battle's crash and Revel's song raise high the Flag and wave it long! For all the Lands wherein I've dwelt I love you best, my Atenveldt! Sing: Oh the Joy that I have felt! My Atenveldt My Atenveldt * 12 * THE BALLAD OF THE THREE KINGS -Sir Bela of Eastmarch copyright 1980 Poul Anderson Three Kings rode out on the road to Hell ravens flew on the gale the night wind rang like an iron bell and hissed with sleet and hail three Kings rode out thru the Gates of Hell and on to Death's Highway the King of the Britons the King of the Huns and the King of Nor-o-way! And the King of the Britons was helmed with gold and rode a stallion white "Oh all men go when they are cold but I go not in fright! A goodly King who loved his Folk and guarded them with the rod.... and stake...and gallows....against themselves will surely go to God!" And the King of the Huns was helmed in steel and rode a stallion red "Oh fiercely proud my fathers feel of me, who crowned my head halfway round a world in pain, which I did mightily win and surely I go to my Father's Fane and not to the evil Djinn!" And the King of Norway was helmed with wings and rode a stallion grey "Truly proud my heart now feels Odin gets me today! I died in bed, ah, but first I hung full many a squealing thrall from Odin's Tree. With Rune on tongue I go now to Odin's Hall!" Three Kings rode out thru the depths of Hell with a bloody-breasted Hound that howls above black rivers that run icy beneath the ground Three Kings a Final Judgement won from the High God's lips that day: The Devil took the Briton, the Djinni took the Hun, and Hell took Nor-o-way! * 13 * THE BARD'S SONG -Ioseph of Locksley (c) copyright 1990 W. J. Bethancourt III (Tune: "Dublin City") As I walked out one quiet evening At the hour of twelve at night Who should I meet but a fair young maiden Combin' her hair by candle light; Lassie, I have come a-courtin' Your kind favours for to win And if you'd heed my petition I would be your Paladin... (CHORUS) Gather roses in the Springtime Gather roses while ye may, Time is passing; roses wither; Winter comes; we're here -today-. Have you seen the dew a-formin' On the grass at early morn? Have you seen the forest quiet, Or a stag that's barely born? Have you seen the dawn a-breakin' O'er the Western Ocean's tide? Have you felt my heart a-beatin' When it's held close to your side? I can give no gold or silver, I can give no fields of land, I can give no servants brisk To wait on you both foot and hand; I can give you wide roads callin' Wind and Rain, and Moon and Sun, Songs to sing, and love and laughter, Dresses made of plain home-spun. Come dance with me upon the greensward in the moonlight, in the Spring. Dance with me within the forest Dance with me within the ring! Earth below us, stars above us, Fire and water by our side, Dance with me within the moonlight, Dance with me, and be my Bride! * 14 * BEATIE, BEATIE, BEAT! -Ioseph of Locksley (c) copyright 1978 W.J.Bethancourt III Gunwald advances, Johann retreats (3X) but no one's going beatie beatie beat (Chorus): Now they are going beatie beatie beat! (3X) And which will be the last upon his feet? Gunwald advances, Johann retreats Johann advances, Gunwald retreats Gunwald advances...Gunwald retreats? But no one's going beatie beatie beat! Now they are going beatie beatie beat! (3X) And Johann's just so much dead meat! (Written, off the cuff, as a sung description of a combat in Crown Lists....written as it happened, while it happened.) * 15 * BIG AXE -Ragnar Morkwulf -last two verses: Ioseph of Locksley tune: "Big Iron" (Marty Robbins) "Ghost Riders In The Sky" To the land of Ansteorra sailed a Viking one fine day He rowed right up the river to Bjornsberg, so they say No one dared to ask the reason why he came into this land For the Viking there among them had a Big Axe in his hand. It was halfway to September when he swaggered into town He came striding from the Southside, slowly looking all around "He's a Viking out for plunder!" came the whisper from each man "And he's here to do some mischief with that Big Axe in his hand!" Now in this town there was a Norman, by the name of Jean-Eclair He was foppish, and a dandy, and wore perfume in his hair! But he was somewhat more than vicious with the rapier at his side And the many men who faced him were the many men who died. Now the Norman's skill at wenching was a scandal in the land and a milkmaid (or a Duchess) were like putty in his hand He would use them for his pleasure and then send them home in shame And their menfolk greatly trembled at the mention of his name. Now the Viking started talking, made it plain to folks around That he'd come to wreak his vengance on the Norman in the town Jean-Eclair had bed his sister, and no bride-price had he paid And he'd sent her back to Norway slightly after she'd been laid.... The Norman merely chuckled when this story he did hear He sharpened up his rapier - threw down another beer Forty vengance-seeking brothers he had slain - unto the man! forty-one would be this Viking with the Big Axe in his hand... The morning passed by quickly, then 'twas time for them to meet Wearing puffs and slashes, Jean-Eclair stood in the street The Viking, dressed in leather, and with furs upon his frame Was the object of the snobbish Norman's obvious disdain "I remember now your sister," said the Norman with a smile "You have similar taste in fashion, and no sense at all of style. I would rather slay your tailor, but I'll kill you where you stand You won't even have a chance to use that Big Axe in your hand!" "I sailed all da vay vrom Norway," said the Viking with a sneer "Not to enter fashion shows; for you would win, I fear. I come here to find a dog, whose blood I vowed to spill But it pleases me to see that you are dressed so - for to kill!" Jean-Eclair glared at the Northman with a face turned scarlet-red His honour would not let him rest till Viking blood was shed Townsfolk watched them from the windows - everybody held their breath They knew this tacky Viking was a hand away from Death. (more) 16 Big Axe (Cont.) The Norman started forward, shining Murder in his hand, The Mistrels say the battle was the swiftest in the land Rapier'd barely cleared it's scabbard when the Axe came crashing down And the Norman toppled over, with the Big Axe for a Crown... It was over in a moment, and the folks all gathered round There before them lay the body of the Norman on the ground He had planned to go on living - never thought of lying dead But it's kinda hard to think when there's a Big Axe in your head! But then the fop took off his hat, and grinned, and softly said "Beneath these plumes I wear an iron cap upon my head!" And with an evil grin he pulled a pistol with a sigh And shot the great big Northman square between his beady eyes! So remember all you armoured folk, and think upon it well: There's lots of different ways to die; there's different ways to hell You might be big and hairy, on the side of Truth and all God makes Norsemen big and strong: Friar Bacon makes 'em small! * BORED IN THE SCA! -various Marklanders -tune: "Born in the USA" BORED in the SCA! Oh, I'm a LORD in the SCA! I use "Prince Valiant" for historical sources! I'm a knight, but where are the horses?! Bright colors and panty hose! Polyester from my head to my toes! Oh, I am BORED in the SCA! Yes, I am BORED in the SCA! Over there's a Samurai, I think, Must because of the fishy stink! I'm a King in Fantasyland, Don't fight with steel, I use bare rattan! Oh, I am BORED in the SCA! Joined the HORDE in the SCA! Now I can rape and pillage and burn Goon the jerks that never learn! Looks like ( insert name of choice ) is here! Hide the chickens, and dogs and beer! I was BORED in the SCA! I was BORED in the SCA! Joined the HORDE in the SCA! Joined the HORDE in the SCA! * 17 BOLD SIR ROBIN -Monty Python "Bravely bold Sir Robin Brought forth from Camelot He was not afraid to die Brave, bold Sir Robin He was not at all afraid To be killed in nasty ways Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.... He was not in the least bit scared To be mashed into a pulp Or to have his eyes gouged out And his elbows broken To have his kneecaps split And his body burned away And his limbs all hacked and mangled Brave Sir Robin..... His head smashed in and his heart cut out And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt up And his penis ....." * BUGS ON THE BARONESS -Ioseph of Locksley (c) copyright 1974, 1990 W.J.Bethancourt III (Tune: Waltzing Matilda) or: Who was that Vermin I saw you with last, Knight? or: There may be Lice on all you Knice, but there ain't no Lice on me Once there was a Barony howling in the wilderness nestled in the Valley where the River doesn't flow and the folks were driven buggy by the insects in the Revel Hall Authenticity is wonderful, but this doesn't go! Bugs on the Baroness, bugs on the Baroness! That was the cry that you heard all the day and the scratching can be heard from Ysgithr to Ered Sul why did we come here? Let's go away! See them all a scratching, nestled in their armour tight the fleas have a melee team that's challenging the field! call Truly Nolen! Someone's gotta help us out! the crabs are nesting in our helms but we'll never yield! (chorus) Dawn comes a-breaking, the bugs have won the Coronet... flea-infested Conan-clones in piles upon the lawn where is the Barony? The bugs have eaten everyone... termites got the stick-jocks, and all their sticks are gone! (chorus) * 18 * BURGUNDIAN CAROL -Bernard La Monnonye (ca. 1650) English translation by Oscar Brand Dm E7 A The Winter season of the year when to this world Our Lord was born F C G7 C F Dm A7 Dm The ox and donkey, so they say, did keep His Holy Presence warm. A7 Dm A7 Dm C F A7 Dm A7 Dm Gm A7 Dm How many oxen and donkeys, now, if they were there when first He came, A7 Dm A7 Dm G A Dm Gm A7 Dm How many oxen and donkeys you know, at such a time would do the same? And on that night it has been told These humble beasts so rough and rude, Throughout the night of Holy Birth, Drank no water, ate no food. How many oxen and donkeys, now, If they were there, when first He came, How many oxen and donkeys you know At such a time would do the same? As soon as to these humble beasts Appeared Our Lord, so mild and sweet, With joy they knelt before His Grace, And gently kissed his tiny feet. How many oxen and donkeys now, Dressed in ermine, silk and such, How many oxen and donkeys you know At such a time would do as much? * 19 A CALLING-ON SONG recorded by Steeleye Span "Below the Salt" revised by Ioseph of Locksley Good people, pray heed my petition Your attention I beg and I crave for if you are inclined for to listen An abundance of pastime will have I am come to relate many stories Concerning our Forefather's Time And I trust they will drive out your worries Of this we are all in one mind Many tales of the poor and the gentry Of labour and love will arise There are no finer songs in this country In East, West or Middle likewise There is one thing more needing mention The dances are danced all in fun So, now that you've heard my intention I'll lay on to the beat of the Drum! * CAMBRIAN DREAM -Gwydion PenDerwyn copyright probably to Nemeton In the mountains of Cambria, by Rhymney's bright stream I have oft slept in heather, and dreamed a bright Dream No mortal could wake me, nor see what I've seen No landscape could ever compare. 'Twas the Land of my Fathers, unfettered, and free Ere the time that the Saxon swept over the Sea When mistletoe grew 'neath the shining Oak Tree No landscape could ever compare! (Chorus): Dreaming of Prydein, asleep on a hill When I awaken, will you be there still? Oh, Island of Poets, my dreams you can fill But never the long waking hours. Mighty Poets and Warriors traversed every road Leaving stories and legends wherever they strode Their pasts are recalled in the humblest abode In tales of the sunnier days. (Chorus) Now my story is ended, my song is all gone I have slept thru the evening, and into the dawn Yet still, I remember your Face, Albion, And your older, and much wiser ways! (Chorus) * 20 * THE CATAPULT SONG tune: "Tramp Tramp Tramp" -Zoltan Kovacs -Heinrich Palantin -Su of the Silver Horn -Christobal degli Gilicine Oh they thought it was a joke when my catapult it broke And they said it would not fire beyond the wall So the Captain came to look, and I pulled the trigger hook And my catapult it caught him in the jaw! Flip, flip, flip, my Captain's flying High up o'er the Norman camp! Well, he landed with a thump and he crumpled in a lump with his head between his knees upon a stump! Yippee yea, my catapult's working Yippee yea, we'll have a ball! Oh we'll load it up again with another Cap-i-tain and we'll fire the bloody bastard o'er the wall! * 21 * THE CAUSES OF REBELLION: LIE, LIE TO THE COUNCIL -Astra of the Grey Shadows copyright 1974 Ann Cass orig. tune: "Retreat Along The Wabash" a period tune has been written by Ioseph of Locksley Tell the truth to a Lord you trust MORE truth to a Lord you hate! Lie to a Lady, if lie you must, but since the Lords live far away and will not heed what the people say: Lie, Lie, Lie to the Council! Lie to the Heads of State! Where the low hills sit by the foggy Bay and the ground all shakes with fire the High Lords sit in Council today let them consider the Price they pay for calling a man a liar! With a title comes a certain power and a much more certain schooling a child may play in a castle tower but the Lord who does soon sees the hour He hasn't a Land worth ruling. For there isn't a man but has his doubts of the worth of those that rule him but the good ones he will not turn out unless he finds he's pushed about or he thinks they're trying to fool him there's many a man in the Lands of the East and a few in the West and Middle who hold a Lord sits LAST to Feast thinks FIRST of his men, their Lands and beasts and THEN of his Pride....a little. Now, what a man says, and what a man does are controlled by Laws and Reason; but half the cause of all men's fights: what one man calls his Natural Rights another man may call Treason! So take care all you who sit in State take care when you come to judge the cost of a word in anger is great but greater still, in lasting Hate, is the cost of holding a grudge! So..tell the Truth to a Lord you trust, MORE truth to a Lord you hate! Lie to a Lady, if lie you must, but since the Lords live far away and will not heed what the people say... LIE! LIE! LIE TO THE COUNCIL! LIE TO THE HEADS OF STATE! * 22 * CELTIC CIRCLE DANCE -Ioseph of Locksley copyright 1984 W. J. Bethancourt III recorded: CELTIC CIRCLE DANCE, WTP-0002 tune: "Same Old Man/Leatherwing Bat" (Trad. Appalachian) Hi said the Norn, sittin in the sand once I talked to a great Grey Man spun three times and said with a sigh hadn't been for the Runes had his other eye! Chorus: hi diddle i diddle i day hi diddle i diddle i diddle ay hi di diddle i diddle i day fol the dink a dum diddle do di day Hi said the Lady, dressed in green The Circle forms, the Circle flows prettiest thing I've ever seen the Circle goes where no man knows she went down underneath the hill Hail to the Lady, one in three: and came back out of her own free will Present is Past and Past is Me! Brian Boru, on Irish ground Hi said the Lady dressed in white walked three times the Island round sang the Day and sang the Night Norsemen came lookin for a fight sang the Land and sang the Sea just another Irish Saturday night! sang the Song, and then sang Me! Hi said Lugh on the banquet night Salt and oil and mirror bright a poet and a player and a good wheelwright fire and fleet and candlelight a harper and a warrior and none the least: by fin and feather, leaf and tree, a Druid and he got in to the Feast! fill the cup and blessed be! Harold Haardrada's face was red! From the misty crystal sea Came to Britain and he wound up dead Came the Lady to the lea Stamford Bridge is where he's found Sword and Roses in Her Hand got six feet of English ground Spread their seeds thruout the Land the Legion with it's Eagles bright Came the Stag from oaken wood marched into the Pictish night saw the Lady where she stood met them there upon the sand by the fire burning bright gave em up to the Wicker Man! came to know his heart's delight! eight-legged steed and hound of Hel By Sword and Harp, and Irish Hound the one-eyed Man, he loves ya well Blessed Be: the Day I've found fire burn and fire spark Hail to the Lady, one in Three are you then feared of the dark? Present is Past and Past is WE Rhiannon's Birds are still in flight By Oak and Ash and Holy Thorn all thru the Day all thru the Night Blessed be the Day you're born! Hail to the Lady, one in Three Fire burn and fire bright Present is Past and Past is Thee! walk in safety thru the night * 23 * CHAINMAIL MOMMA -Moonwulf (Michael Langcor) -Copyright Firebird Arts & Music Gets up every morning, puts her armor on (3X) You know you better not mess with her, or you'll be dead and gone! She's my chainmail momma, and I'm her shield-munchin' man With axe, sword or spear, she'll kill you any way she can! Some women slither, and wiggle their shifty shanks But when my baby walks with me, you know she rings and clanks! She's my chainmail momma, dressed head to foot in steel She's my chainmail momma, and she knows a dozen ways to kill! She loves me day and night, she never lets me get no rest; I've got that chainmail waffle-weave imprinted on my chest! She's my chainmail momma, loves me anytime she can, She's my chainmail momma, and I'm her shield-munchin' man! * 24 * THE CHILDISH EDDA -Bela of Eastmarch, KSCA Ron Ellik -tune: "Tramp, Tramp, Tramp" Yggdrasil, where Nine Worlds clash, is a noble piece of ash That shelters Norns and Gods and all that crew There, a Dragon gnaws the base of an Eagle's resting place, And four Harts, a Goat and Squirrel are there too! Frigga took a year or so, and, except for mistletoe Got from everything an Oath for Balder's good Evil Loki wished him harm, so he hired Hodr's arm, And the staff the Blind God threw was kissing-wood! Tyr vowed Fenris-Wolf his hand if he couldn't break the Band That All-Father's wisdom made both light and hefty... Lupine muscles strained away, but the magic held its' sway - And from then on, till The Time, they called Tyr "Lefty!" When Thor went out to fish, he quickly got his wish, and he hauled a Jormangandr from the Bay. But Hymr cut the cable, and Thor was only able To brag about the "one that got away..." When Thor called upon the Giants, they didn't show defiance, But they soon got rid of him, and of his Hammer! For the sea he could not swallow, and old Grandmaw beat him hollow, And the House-Pet caused an awful katzenjammer! Asa-Thor became a "her" for to repossess Mjollnir, And unto a frosty brute his troth did plight; But the vittles that he ate would an army more than sate, And the chefs at Utgard always rued that night! Each God's Apple every day, kept the doctor far away 'Til a Giant captured Ydun from their Halls... Loki fetched home Bragi's Bride, with Her health-food store beside, Plus a char-broiled eagle underneath the Walls! Odin said to Mim: "I think I would sort of like a drink." Answered Mim: "That will cost you your left eye! For you've come up very late to the Well at Wisdom's Gate And the set-up prices, after hours, are high!" Oh, the Giants brought their War up to Bifrost's very Door And the battling wrecked Asgards perfect clime- Jormungandr, Hel and Fenris dealt out Death in doses generous And, in fighting, did the Aesir pass The Time! * 25 * COME FILL UP YOUR GLASSES -recorded by Steeleye Span "All Around My Hat" Come fill up your glasses, and let us be merry For to rob bags of plunder it is our intent CHORUS: As we roam thru yonder valleys Where the lilys and the roses And the beauty of cashmere lay drooping his head Then away, then away, then away! To the gates of yonder mountain where the robbers retreat! Hush! hush! In the distance there's footsteps approaching! Stand! Stand and deliver! It is our watch-cry! Come fill up your glasses and let us be merry! For to rob bags of plunder it is our intent! * 26 * CUP OF WONDER -Ian Anderson recorded: "Songs from the Wood" Jethro Tull copyright 1977 Salamander Music pub. USA: Chrysalis Music Corp. May I make my fond excuses for the lateness of the hour But we accept your invitation, and we bring you Beltane's Flower For the May Day is the Great Day, strung along the Old Straight Track And those who ancient Lines did Ley will heed this song that calls them back! Ask the Green Man where he comes from, ask the Cup that fills with Red Ask the old grey Standing Stones who show the Sun His way to bed Question all as to their Ways, and learn the Secrets that they hold Walk the lines of Nature's Palm, crossed with Silver and with Gold. (Chorus): Pass the Word, and pass the Lady Pass the Plate to all who hunger! Pass the Wit of Ancient Wisdom Pass the Cup of Crimson Wonder! Join in Black December's Madness! Lie in August's welcome Corn! Stir the Cup that's ever filling with the Blood of all thatks born! For the May Day is the Great Day, strung along the Old Straight Track And those who ancient Lines did Ley will heed this Song that calls them back! * CUP OF WONDER II -variant lyrics by Ioseph of Locksley May I make my fond excuses for the lateness of the Hour But I accept your invitation, and I bring you Beltane's Flower For the May Day is the Great Day strung along the Old Straight Track And those who ancient Lines did Ley will heed this Song that calls them back! Ask the Green Man where he comes from, ask the Sun his way to bed Ask the grey and Standing Stones where last they lay their head Ask the Lady where She's standing, growing young, and growing old Cross the Lines of Nature's Palm, marked with Silver, crossed with Gold For the May Day is the Great Day strung along the Old Straight Track And those who ancient Lines did Ley will heed this Song that calls them back! Ask the Lady where She's standing in the green and growing corn! Take the Cup that's ever filling with the Blood of all that's born! For the May Day is the Great Day, strung along the Old Straight Track And those who ancient Lines did Ley will heed this Song that calls them back! So, pass the Cup, and pass the Lady! Pass the Plate to all who hunger! Pass the Wit of Ancient Wisdom Pass the Cup of Crimson Wonder! (repeat verse 1) * 27 DEAR KINDLY LOCAL HERALD -Goldwyn of Britain -tune: "Officer Krupke" Submittor: Dear kindly local herald, I'm new - fresh off the farm. The SCA's fantastic! I want a coat of arms! I don't like heralds muchly. Your terms all leave me bored. This I know - I think I want a sword. Local: Dear kindly newcomer, don't bring it to me. Baronial Pursuivant is the one you should see. In heraldic terms it's called "passing the buck" So, go away... and best of luck. Submittor: Best of luck? Local: Best of luck! Best of luck! You'll need all your pluck To submit. I'll wish you best of luck. Submittor: Dear Baronial Pursuivant, I'm told to come to you So, here is my submission. I know it will go through I've got a rampant dragon, a sword that's upside down. Over all there is a golden crown! Baronial: Dear kindly submittor, I've bad news for you. It's nice, but you are shy about a copy or two. Before this submission the College will see - We should have told you - we need three. Submittor: You need three? Baronial: We need three copies - three! We need one, two, three. Need eight bucks and copies one, two, three. Submittor: Dear kindly Kingdom Herald, my name and my device I've shown to other heralds. They say it's really nice. My lady's made a banner - I've fiberglassed my shield. Pass it and my future will be sealed. Kingdom: Dear kindly submittor, I'm sorry to say That at the herald's meeting that we had yesterday, We checked our books singly, we checked them en masse; I've got to tell you - it won't pass. Submittor: It won't pass? Kingdom: It won't pass, it won't pass. It conflicts and won't pass. You can bet your ass it will not pass. Submittor: Dear Laurel King (Queen) of Arms. I'm running out of hope The pressure's getting to me. I really cannot cope. The herald's I've avoided, the tourneys I have missed... I've been patient. Now I'm getting pissed! Laurel: Dear pesky submittor, quit bothering me. 'Cause heralds don't respond to an emotional plea. I'm not gonna pass it, unless you consent To start again - and document! Submittor: Document! Laurel: Document, document ere I give assent. That is what I said and what I meant! Local: The trouble is it's simple. Baronial: It's overly complex. Kingdom: The trouble is it's marshalled. Laurel: It's like Purina Chex! Heralds: The trouble is it has all the troubles we have known Submittor: Heralds I've got troubles of my own! Dear Board Of Directors - I'm pleading wit'youse And here is all my research which you cannot refuse. Besides all of this, there is just one more thing.... I just became my Kingdom's King! * 28 * DIE GEDANKEN SIND FREI -from the Bundshuh Rebellion March 17, 1525 Translation by Arthur Kevess copyright 1950 People's Songs Inc. recorded by the Limelighters "Live - In Person" Die Gedanken sind frei, wer kann sie erraten? Sie fliehen vorbei wie naechlichte shaten Kein Mensch kann sie wissen, kein Jager ershiessen Es bleibet dabei: die Gedanken sind frei! Die Gendanken sind frei: my thoughts freely flower Die Gedanken sind frei: my thoughts give me power No scholar can map them, no hunter can trap them No man can deny: Die Gedanken sind frei! Ich denke was ich will, und was mich begluecket Doch alles in der Still, und wie es sich shicket Mein Wunsch und Begehren kann niemand verwehren Es bleibet dabei: Die Gedanken sind frei! I think as I please, and this gives me pleasure My concience decrees: this Right I must treasure! My thoughts will not cater to Duke nor Dictator No man can deny: Die Gedanken sind frei! Und sperrt man mich ein im finsteren Kerker Das alles sind rein vegebliche Werke; Denn meine Gedanken zerreissen die Schranken Und Mauern entzwei: Die Gedanken sind frei! And if tyrants take me and throw me in prison My thoughts will burst free, like blossoms in season! Foundations will crumble, the prison will tumble, And free men will cry: Die Gedanken sind frei! Es bleibet dabei: Die Gedanken Sind Frei! * 29 * I'M A DARLIN' -Anonymous (Tune: "Dublin City") As I walked out of Chester city At the late hour of the night Who should I see but a fair young maiden Washing her clothes by the clear moonlight CHORUS: Madam, I'm a darlin', a die-ro-dither-o Madam, I'm a darlin', a die-ro-day First she washed and then she squeezed them And then she hung them out to dry And then she folded up her arms saying O what a fair young girl am I O, going to the well to fetch some water Fetching it back to make some cheese She fell under and I fell over And all the game was above her knee Madam I will tie your garter, I will tie it above your knee And if you like I'll tie it up farther 'Cause madam I'm a die-row-day Have you ever heard of cups and saucers Rattling round an old tin can have you ever heard of a fair young girl Married to an ugly grey old man Madam you may have the gold and silver Madam you may have the tracts of land You may have ships all on the ocean But what you need now is a canny young man * 30 * DUELING HERALDS -Ioseph of Locksley (Tune: "Dueling Banjos") (c) copyright 1991 W.J.Bethancourt III This takes the form of a duet between two Heralds..... My Lords and Ladies, pray attend (My Lords and Ladies, pray attend) Hush your speech and pray forfend! (Hush your speech and pray forfend!) From interrupting Royal Court! (From interrupting Royal Court!) We'll truly try to keep this short! (We'll truly try to keep this short!) His Majesty (His Majesty) Wishes Me (Wishes Me) To announce announcements to you all (To announce announcements to you all) To attend His Presence in this Hall (To attend His Presence in this Hall) [together to "Yankee Doodle" theme:] His Majesty commands you all Draw nigh and pray attend....for.... [single herald sings:] Please remember leave the site as clean as clean can be [And do not] smoke within the Hall, for it's not period, you see [And try to] speak forsoothly to the gentles partying tonight [For we're the] SCA, and we're the ones who try to get it right! My Lords and Ladies, pray attend (My Lords and Ladies, pray attend) We as Heralds condesend (We as Heralds condesend) To blazon forth the finest Arms (To blazon forth the finest Arms) That ever graced a Kingdom's charms (That ever graced a Kingdom's charms) Cheqy bendy plumetty (Cheqy bendy plumetty) Gyronny! (Arondy!) I believe, sir, you have got it wrong! (But that's how Locksley wrote the song!) [together to "Yankee Doodle" theme:] His Majesty commands you all Draw nigh and pray attend....for.... (more) 31 Dueling Heralds (cont.) [the second Herald sings:] Three spiders rampant passant statant on a field of green Surrounded by a bordure compony is what we mean Engorged with crowns of several kinds, and que-fourchee to boot And charged with Fleurs-de-Lis in pink [spoken: "In pink?" "Well, it -could- have been flamingos!"] And semee'd in bandicoots! [both: "ARRGGGHHH!"] My Lords and Ladies, pray attend (My Lords and Ladies, pray attend) And please do not misapprehend (And please do not misapprehend) For we in our pomposity (For we in our pomposity) Perpetuate atrocity (Perpetuate atrocity) By singing you this awful song (By singing you this awful song) We know that it is much too long! (We know that it is much too long!) His Majesty Is kicking me! So we'll shut up and take our leave (So we'll shut up and take our leave) So we'll shut up and take our leave (So we'll shut up and take our leave) (fade out and sneak off, if possible....) * 32 * ELRIC THE AWFUL -Ray Stevens Way back in history along the Nordic coast that was the sound all the people feared the most It would echo thru the night up and down the foggy fj-ord It was Elric and the bloodthirsty Horde! Chorus: Elric the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious Elric the Awful, the Ruthless and Courageous Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the Social Graces You can run, but you cannot hide! YES! And as the oars of the sleek, fierce Viking ship cut thru the water like knives thru the fog-shrouded Nordic sea, transporting the wild, marauding band of Viking heathens stealthily towards their unsuspecting, slumbering victims, there he stood, on the foredeck, Elric the Awful, the wildest, bloodthirstiest Viking of them all! (his Momma named him Elric 'cause she couldn't spell AHHGGGRRRFFFFLLLLQQHH!) He had a hairy head, a hairy face, hairy chest, hairy legs, hairy boots and a hairy hat, shaped like a big bullet with horns comin' out the sides.....and once he started after ya he'd NEVER stop! He'd turn to his oarsmen in his 37 oared fj-ord and he'd say: "MORDEN BORDEN FJORDEN GORDEN!" which was Viking for: "YA-HOO!!!!!, RAVAGE, PILLAGE, PLUNDER, MAIM AND PUT BIG HICKEYS ON ALL THEM FAIR DAMSELS!" Chorus: And it was Elric the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious Elric the Awful, mercy sakes! and goodness gracious! His appetite for slaughter was simply voracious You gotta sleep with your sneakers by your side! YES! And when the villagers heard that awful battle-cry: * YA-HOOOOOOOOOOO! * That's the one! They would run for their lives, fleeing over hills and thru valleys to the river, whereupon they would walk mid-stream for 37 and 1/2 miles, climbing out on the low-lying branch, shinnying down a young sapling onto rocky ground and leaping from stone to stone until they arrived one week later at a secret cave 97 miles away, and as they sat down for the first time to catch their breath, outside they heard: "YA-HOOOO!!!! MORDEN BORDEN FJORDEN GORDEN!" Chorus: Yes, it was Elric the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious Elric the Awful, turned up in the darndest places Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the Social Graces You can run, but you cannot hide! OH! And this time they cut south to Paris, bought tickets on the Orient Express to Istanbul, hired a U-Haul to the Coast, jumped a Greek freighter across the Mediterranian Sea to MON-golia, hooked up with a camel caravan into the heart of the Gobi Desert, and as they paused at an oasis, to lift one handful of cool water to their parched lips, over their shoulder they heard: 33 Elric the Awful (cont.) "YA-HOOOO!!!! MORDEN BORDEN FJORDEN GORDEN!" They fled to Calcutta! * YA-HOOOOOOOO! * They fled to the Himalayas! * YA-HOOOOOOOO! * Tokyo! * YA-HOOOOOOOO! * Toronto! * YA-HOOOOOOOO! * Toledo and Heyhailea, Georgia..... * YA-HOOOOOOOO! * But it was no use! They finally succumbed to a savage plundering and pillaging followed by a big hickey party on the outskirts of what is now Washington, DC, where the decendants of Elric can still be found today, working as Special Agents for the IRS! Elric later amassed a small fortune posing for Molly Hatchet album covers, and did stuntwork for Arnold Schwartzenegger in Conan the Barbarian! He also won an Academy Award for his dual role as a train wreck and his tender portrayal of King Kong's daddy! Oh, you might remember the end of that one: there wasn't a dry eye in the house when he married the Empire State Building. And who could forget the evening he ate the entire Kingdom of the East? With no sugar? Chorus: Elric the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious Elric the Awful, the Hungry and Voracious Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the Social Graces You can run but you cannot hide! * YA-HOOOOOOOOOOO! * * 34 * FAIRIES LOVE SONG -Anonymous Why should I sit and sigh Broo and bracken, broo and bracken Why should I sit and sigh All alone and weary When I see the plover rising Or the curlew wheeling It's then I'll court my mortal lover Back to me is stealing When the moon begins her waning I sit by the water Where a man born of the sunlight Loved the Faerie's daughter Oh, but there is something wanting O but I am weary Coming blithe, now bonny treads he O'er the knolls to cheer me * * THE FALSE KNIGHT UPON THE ROAD (Child #3) -recorded by Steeleye Span "Oh where are you going to?" said the False Knight upon the road "Oh I'm going to my school." said the wee boy and still he stood "What is that upon your back?" said the False Knight upon the road "Ah weel, it is my books!" said the wee boy and still he stood Oh, what have you got there? I wish you was on the sands. I have got my bread and cheese! Yes, and a good staff in my hands! Oh won't you give me some? I wish you was on the sea. No, ne'r a bite or crumb! And a good ship under me! And the ship to sink. An inch away from shore! I think I hear a bell. And it rings you straight to Hell! * 35 * FARAIS UN VERS DREIT RIEN -William IX, Count of Poitiers tune: Ioseph of Locksley copyright 1976 W.J.Bethancourt III recorded: "Celtic Circle Dance" I'll make some verses just for fun Not about me, nor anyone Nor deeds that noble Knights have done, Nor Love's ado I made them riding, in the sun.. My horses helped, too! When I was born? I cannot say! I am not sad, I am not fey, I am not stiff, nor degage... What shall I do? Long since, enchanted by a Fay, Star-touched I grew. Dreaming for living I'll mistake Unless I'm told when I'm awake My heart is sad, and nigh to break With bitter rue And I don't care three crumbs of cake Nor even two! So ill am I that Death I fear (I nothing know but what I hear...) I hope there is a doctor near no matter who! If he can cure me, I'll pay dear; If not: He's thru! I have a Lady; who, or where I cannot tell you, but I swear She treats me neither ill, nor fair, But I'm not blue... Just as the * Normans * stay...up there... OUT of Poitou! I have not seen, yet I adore This distant love, she sets no store On what I think, and furthermore... ('tis sad, but true) Others there are...some three...or four... I'm....faithful....to! I've made this verse, if you'll allow I think I'll pass it on right now To one who'll send it on, somehow, Up to Anjou. He'd tell me what it means, I vow, If he but knew! * 36 * FIDDLER'S GREEN -Ioseph of Locksley (c) 1990 W.J.Bethancourt III (Tune: "Fiddler's Green") As I went a-walking one evening so rare To view the still waters and taste the cool air I heard an old SCAdian singing this song Sayin', "Take me away boys, my time is not long..... CHORUS: Wrap me up in me armor and surcoat; No more in the Lists I'll be seen! Just tell all the ladies, I've not gone to Hades, And I'll see you someday on Fiddler's Green." Now Fiddler's Green is a place I've heard tell Where all SCAdians go, if they don't go to hell! Where the weather is fair and the maidens do play, And the Board of Directors are far, far away..... Where the weather is perfect, and there's never rain, And going to Tourneys is never a pain! You lie at your leisure, there's no work to do, While the rivers are made of pure Tullimore Dew.....! Where pavilions set themselves up on their own, And the Seneshals run things with never a moan! Beside the green woodlands, and near a pure creek, And the Heralds are all quite unable to speak......! I don't need no wings, nor the halo I lack; Just give me a horse and a city to sack!